Attitudes that Affect Your Parents Aging

In a society obsessed with youth and physical appearance, aging is often viewed as a dreadful, fearful inevitability. However, this perception is beginning to shift as more people embrace the idea of aging as a journey of personal growth, acceptance, and affirmation. Let’s explore this positive perspective on aging and how it affects our loved ones, especially our parents.

The Reality of Aging

As we grow older, physical changes such as wrinkles, graying hair, and reduced mobility are inevitable. Society often responds to these signs of aging with dread and fear, and this can lead to a frantic search for ways to reverse or delay the process. From endless hours at the salon, to trips to the dermatologist, to invasive cosmetic procedures, people often go to great lengths to fight off the signs of aging.

But is this fear and denial of aging really necessary? Aging is a natural process, something that every single one of us will go through. Rather than viewing it as something to be avoided or delayed, we should instead embrace it as a part of life, a journey that brings its own rewards.

Aging Gracefully: From Denial to Affirmation

There's a different, more positive perspective on aging that's centered on acceptance, adaptation, and affirmation. This mindset sees the aging process not as a battle to be fought, but as a journey to be embraced.

Acceptance is the first step. Accept that aging is inevitable, and that it brings physical changes. Adaptation comes next. Find ways to live with these changes, and to adapt your lifestyle accordingly. And finally, affirmation. Affirm the value of your life and your worth, regardless of age.

For our parents, this mindset can be a source of strength and reassurance. By adopting this positive attitude towards aging, they can navigate the changes that come with age with grace and dignity, rather than fear dread.

The Impact of Positive Aging on Our Parents

Our parents, who have always been there for us, are not immune to the fear of aging. They too feel the societal pressures to stay young, to fight off the signs of age. However, as they grow older, it's important for them to shift their mindset from denial to affirmation.

Embracing the process of aging can have a significant positive impact on our parents' mental and emotional health. It can help them to see the value in their life experiences, to appreciate the wisdom they have gained over the years, and to see the beauty in the process of growing older.

Furthermore, by embracing a positive perspective on aging, our parents can inspire us to do the same. They can teach us that aging is not something to be feared, but something to be embraced. That it's not about losing youth, but about gaining wisdom and experience.

Building a Supportive Community for Aging

The environment and community around us can significantly impact our perception of aging. If we surround ourselves with a community that celebrates age, values wisdom, and respects the elderly, it becomes easier to adopt a positive attitude towards aging. This supportive environment can help our parents feel valued and appreciated, further enhancing their emotional well-being. Let's strive to create communities that treat aging as a badge of honor rather than a sign of decline.

The Role of Media in Shaping Perceptions of Aging

The media plays a crucial role in shaping our perceptions of aging. Often, the portrayal of the elderly in media is not positive, contributing to the negative attitudes towards aging. By challenging these portrayals and advocating for a more positive and realistic representation of aging, we can help to shift societal attitudes. As consumers, we can support media that respects and values the aging population. In turn, this can contribute to a societal shift from viewing aging as a dread to embracing it as a beautiful part of life's journey.

Cultivating a Positive Attitude Towards Aging

A positive attitude towards aging does not occur overnight. It requires a conscious effort to reframe our thought processes and perceptions about growing older. This involves breaking free from societal norms and expectations about youth and beauty, and instead focusing on the benefits that come with age. The confidence, the wisdom, the freedom that comes from years of experiences and learning from our successes and failures. Cultivating a positive attitude towards aging can provide a sense of contentment and acceptance, allowing us to fully appreciate every stage of life.

The Graceful Journey of Personal Growth

In conclusion, aging is a journey, not a destination. It's a process that we all go through, and one that brings its own rewards. By shifting our perspective from fear and denial to acceptance, adaptation, and affirmation, we can navigate this journey with grace and dignity.

This mindset can be particularly beneficial for our parents, as it can help them to embrace the changes that come with age, and to find value and meaning in their life experiences. So, let's change the narrative on aging. Let's see it not as a process of decline, but as a graceful journey of personal growth. After all, every wrinkle, every gray hair, is a testament to a life well-lived.

Remember to take care of yourself as a caregiver - take time each week (even for an hour) for “me” time so that you can better care for your loved ones!

Have you been looking for professional advice to cut through the enormous amount of information around senior placement or the correct type of caregiving for your parents, spouse, or yourself? Book a time with me for a complimentary consultation. Please find out more by booking your introductory call or by calling me directly at 503.830.1812

Caring for My Terminally Ill Parents

How I Cared for My Terminally Ill Parents

Both my parents had cancer in the same timespan - and they both passed away within a year of each other. From diagnosis to when they passed in their home, I was their caregiver and provider of all of their needs - from emotional, to physical and medical.

At the time I was caregiver for my parents, my now adult children were under the age of 10, and I experienced being the sandwich generation at the early age of 29. From my experience, I understand how hard it is to take care of your parents, especially when you’re managing doctors, their place of residence, medical bills, and finding the right type of care when they have to leave the hospital. It’s hard to juggle family life when you have your parents to take care of, and this episode will give you a bit of an insight into the challenges I faced taking care of my terminally ill parents over a decade ago.

My mom was especially hard to take care of because she didn’t have an invested interest in taking care of herself. She had a poor diet and lifestyle, which led to her having and not surviving stage 1 breast cancer, even with an early diagnosis. If she had a healthier lifestyle, she would most likely have been able to survive her cancer.

In addition to her poor lifestyle habits, she also implicitly trusted her doctor, even when she showed signs of her cancer returning and her oncologist ignored them. She refused to get a second opinion, and that mistake cost her her life. 

While it was hard to watch her go through these health challenges, since she didn’t have dementia until the last two months of her life, she was making all of her healthcare choices - most of which were not in her favor or benefitted her health. The decision to stay with her same doctor, even though she had many signs that her cancer had returned (and the doctor wouldn’t see her for a new evaluation) had me frustrated and spent, to say the least. Listen in to Season 01 Episode 03 to find out more about how I cared for my mother.

How I Cared for My Terminally Ill Father

When we found out my dad had cancer, he was diagnosed with Stage IV adenocarcinoma. Today, I believe he had Celiac disease that was undiagnosed as this type of cancer is one of the cancers you can get when you don’t eat a gluten free diet. Because we have auto-immune in our family, it’s very probable that he was Celiac and wasn't aware of it. Had he known, he would have changed his diet and would not have had cancer.

Because your small intestine absorbs your nutrients, you can be eating many calories a day, but never absorb any nutrition. In turn, you’re eating and losing a significant amount of weight because you’re not absorbing your food. When my dad was diagnosed, they gave him six months to live. Although he lived for three years, he wasted away slowly as his body wasn’t able to sustain basic functioning and his digestive tract was riddled with disease.

In Season 01 Episode 04, I talk about the overall journey taking care of my father, what we went through, and the challenges I faced when caring for my terminally ill father, including finding a care facility with certified nursing on staff after one of the times he was released from the hospital.

When you have parents that are stubborn or won’t listen to reason, and they are cognizant and able to make decisions, you have to let go emotionally to protect yourself. This is a healthy boundary to have and is essential to know which battles to choose with your parents when you care for them as they age.

I wish I was able to connect with a senior care advisor, like myself, when I was in the midst of caregiver turmoil. I sure could have used the extra assistance and support!

Remember to take care of yourself as a caregiver - take time each week (even if its for an hour) for “me” time so that you can better care for your loved ones!

-Lynn Smargis CSA, CDP

Certified Senior Advisor

Certified Dementia Practioner